A brand new blog feature debuts today: 1,000 Words. Once a week I’ll have a fresh new story (1,000 words long) right here in this space. This week’s theme is ‘superhero satire’, but future topics can be up to you: just leave a message with your preferred theme in the comments, but since this feature is all about constraint/restraint your theme has to be three words or less. The ideas can be less thematic and more freeform (examples I’ve been thinking about: witch-catcher, young gods fighting, drunken angry fairies, etc.)
“It’s the end of the line for you, Gearicho!” said the elaborately coiffed Mr. Unshakable. His muscles gripped his cotton/spandex poly blend suit in a death-lock and the fabric against his groin bulged unseemly under the weight of his hastily tucked member. Unshakable’s prize winning smile radiated tangible warmth.
“Fool! Do you think I would battle my arch rival without the perfect weapon?” Gearicho grinned heartily, “behold the Alembic Arousal Attenuator!”
A red velvet curtain fell to reveal the massive machine in all its glory. Mr. Unshakable puzzled at the wonder of complex machinery.
“Using this device, I will funnel your lusty nature into a power source that will manufacture your destruction!”
Mr. Unshakable raised a hand. Gearicho stopped, “yes?”
“Before you get to the maniacal laughing and all. I thought I should tell you. I dismantled it.”
“I found the instruction manual in your last secret hideout. I figured you would build it here, so I went into the future with Time Leap Lad and dismantled it.”
Gearicho turned around and looked at his machine. It did look a little…broken. He sighed heavily and a chorus of steam accompanied him from various vents in his body.
“Well, shit. That was my trump card,” the arch villain complained, “so what are we going to do now?”
Mr. Unshakable checked his watch. “Well, we still have an hour or so before the cops get here. Do you…want to fool around?”
Gearicho screwed a little dial above his right ear in thought then shrugged. “Fine. But I get to top this time.”
Mr. Unshakable gave a suitably unshakable look.
“You know the rule. The winner tops. I clearly won this round.”
“And you had to leave this timestream to do it! That wasn’t in the rules. Besides, you never made good that last time when I sent you hurtling into the Earth’s surface from Mars. You said your back hurt too much. Well I’m entitled to make your backside hurt for that!”
Mr. Unshakable shook his head, “absolutely not.”
Gearicho folded his arms. “Then no dice. I guess we’ll just wait for the police.”
“C’mon! How about I let you fuck me next time?”
“No. Fucking. Dice. For a hero, you’re awful at keeping your word.”
Mr. Unshakable crossed his own massive arms.
“Well if you’re going to be a child about it then I guess we’ll just wait then.”
The two stayed that way for a few minutes. Then a few more. But before long Mr. Unshakable broke down, “fine.”
He began peeling off the costume laying over his body as if painted on. First his shirt and cape, revealing a remarkably tight chest and big brown nipples already taut. Then he stepped out of his tights and Gearicho finally looked over as the suit slipped down past the rise of his perfect, round ass and his fat cock jumped free of its cloth constraints. Gearicho could feel his own arousal tickling awake, filling his half-machine body with blood, coolant and desire.
“We don’t got a lot of time here,” Mr. Unshakable explained as he crossed the room. He put his hands on the glass surface of the Alembic Arousal Attenuator and stuck his ass out willfully, “are we doing this or not?”
Gearicho ignored the hint of wounded pride and approached the well-proportioned hero. Standing behind him, the villain could see his low hanging balls and more importantly, his tight, puckered hole. An engine revved violently and Gearicho’s erection sprung to full length in his workman’s overalls.
Gearicho wasted no time getting to his knees to begin enjoying his conquest. His hands parted the firm cheeks with moderate resistance and he began to work the hole open with his tongue. The taste of Mr. Unshakable was sweet and musky. The hero moaned softly as the dastardly rogue tongued his increasingly eager asshole. It wasn’t long before Mr. Unshakable was dripping wet. With his horny butt sufficiently lubricated, loosened and wiggling hungrily, Gearicho stood and unlatched the sides of his overalls. He spit into his hand and worked it around his cock.
“You’ll be glad to know, my heroic companion, that my saliva contains a hybrid silicone-based compound,” he teased Unshakable’s hole with a finger, “which is completely condom safe.”
“Shut up,” Unshakable muttered through gritted teeth, “and fuck me.”
Gearicho wrapped the latex sheath around himself and positioned his cock carefully. Unshakable yelped as his mechanized nemesis began feeding him the length of his thick, engorged member. As Gearicho slowly worked himself into Mr. Unshakable, a plethora of gauges, valves and meters ticked and chimed in his periphery trying to calculate the best angles and velocity to attack his rival’s tight fuckhole. In the end he turned them off, they were a distraction, he wanted to enjoy this.
The first thrust was so immensely satisfying that both hero and villain exhaled hard before the second. Their bodies were in sync, they understood each other implicitly after so many years of bitter combat. Gearicho began fucking him in earnest. The sex was giddy and exploratory. Gearicho’s hips rocked his massive shaft into Mr. Unshakeable and the hero pushed back in order to take the length of it. They sighed and groaned and sweated and cursed. Gearicho’s machine mind crunched the numbers and gave him a firm decision on his staying power versus Mr. Unshakeable’s vice grip ass.
“I’m gonna cum!” Mr. Unshakeable announced before Gearicho could shout the same thing.
They came simultaneously: Mr. Unshakeable blasting his load in superhuman volley after volley, coating the glass surface in front of him thoroughly while Gearicho exploded spectacularly inside his enemy’s depths.
In the panting, sweaty afterglow, Gearicho spoke first.
“You broke me.”
Mr. Unshakable grinned, “I know. Me too.”
“No. You ridiculous alien. You broke me.”
Gearicho pointed down at his mangled machine cock. “You were so tight you smashed it. I’ll have to replace it…again.”
Mr. Unshakable shrugged bashfully as the police sirens cascaded in the distance.